The Kindness of a Stranger

 

Henrietta C. Werner Palmer

Isaac B. Werner's youngest sister, Henrietta Catherine, was a young girl in her mid-teens when Isaac left for the West.  His father had died, and although his twin brother chose to remain in the area, Isaac was eager to seek his fortune beyond the Pennsylvania community where he was raised.

His widowed mother, Margaret, and his two teenaged sisters moved from the family home in Wernersville to the larger town of Reading, not far away.  Emma married first, and when Henrietta married the Rev. Samuel Palmer, Margaret made her home with the Palmer family and traveled West with them to Abilene, Kansas.  You may read more about Margaret at "Finding Margaret," Aug. 20, 2015 in the blog archives.

Not long after Margaret's death the Palmer family moved to Lawrence, Kansas.  Rev. Palmer died there in 1921, followed in death by his wife Henrietta ten years later.

I was eager to locate the grave of Isaac's youngest sister, so when other events took us to Lawrence, I arranged to visit Oak Hill Cemetery to search for Henrietta's grave stone.

 

Grave marker of Henrietta C. Palmer

Oak Hill Cemetery was created to honor those killed in Quantrill's Raid in 1863, land having been purchased in 1865 to create a rural, garden style cemetery modeled after Boston's Mount Auburn Cemetery.  It is a lovely old cemetery on rolling terrain with many shade trees, but the irregular, naturalized design makes locating graves a challenge.  My husband and I wandered the area in which we believed Henrietta and her husband to be buried without success, and we were giving the effort one last try when we noticed a man tending a grave.

Grave marker of Rev. Samuel Palmer

My husband approached him to inquire whether he was familiar with the cemetery, in hopes that the man's knowledge might help us locate Henrietta's grave.  He confirmed that we were probably looking in the right area but couldn't offer any specific help.  However, in the course of the conversation we discovered a connection.  His deceased wife, whose grave he was tending, was the daughter of our high school superintendent.  A pleasant chat ensued, much of it about the football careers of his former father-in-law and his brother-in-law, with whom my husband had played high school football.  When we prepared to leave without having located Henrietta's grave he offered to find it for us and send photographs.

Rev. Samuel Palmer

Within a few days, the kindness of this stranger, Earl Van Meter, provided not only photographs of the grave stones of Henrietta and her husband Rev. Samuel Palmer but also a map with the locations of the graves clearly marked.  When we visit Lawrence again in a few months we should be able to find their graves and pay our respects to Isaac's sister and her husband.

Isaac was very fond of his sisters, and during the early years of his journal he mentioned them often.  Later, he regretted that correspondence with the two of them had become rare, and although he understood that they were busy with their own families, he missed hearing from them.

In doing the research on Isaac and his family, I have connected with a descendant of Henrietta, or Ettie as Isaac called her.  This descendant was not aware that Isaac's homestead had gone to his siblings and their descendants when he died.  More than a century after Isaac's death my research has closed the circle to reconnect with his siblings--thanks in no small part to the kindness of strangers. 

Finding Margaret

Isaac's notation regarding his mother

On June 7, 1890, Isaac B. Werner wrote on the flyleaf of his journal "Mother was born Dec. 12th 1812 and yet living June 7th 1890.  I. B. Werner."  The love of a son for his mother, whom he had not seen in many years, seems apparent.

Margaretha Beckley was born in Lebanon County, PA on the 11th of September, 1812.  At the age of thirty she married William Werner, who was slightly more than ten years older.  They made their home in Heidelberg, Berks County, PA, and fifteen months later twin sons, Isaac and Henry were born.  Both boys were given their mother's maiden name as their middle names.

Two years later daughter Emma Rebecca was born, and two years after that daughter Elmira, who lived only briefly.  Their last child was Henrietta, born three years later.

Approaching grave

Margaretha, also known as Rebecca, was widowed in 1865, and for a time she and her two surviving daughters remained in the family home before moving into nearby Reading.  Emma married first, wedding Wm E. Good, and in 1877 Henrietta married Rev. Samuel Palmer.  When Rev. Palmer was called to pastor a Lutheran church in Abilene, KS, Margaretha went with them.  She died on the 22nd of February, 1893 and was buried in Abilene.  The Palmer family moved to Lawrence, KS after her death and are buried there.

It seemed sad to me that Margaretha, spelled Margaret later in her life, had been buried far from any other family member, especially far from her husband William, who was buried in the old Hain's Church burial grounds in Wernersville, surrounded by the graves of many generations of Werners.  (See Isaac's Birth & Childhood," 11-4-2011 in the Blog Archives.)

Margaret Werner's Grave

With the assistance of Twila Jackson at the Heritage Center in Abilene, I learned that Margaret Werner was buried on Lot 12, Block 29 in the Abilene Cemetery, District One.  Four years after my correspondence with Ms. Jackson, my husband and I finally visited Margaret's grave.

The Abilene Cemetery is a lovely shaded cemetery, and Margaret's grave is in the first Block as you enter, to the far left side under an ancient tree.  The cemetery entrance is off of a busy street, and opposite the entrance is a school; however, within the cemetery grounds the trees and gently rolling terrain provide a peaceful setting.

A small visitors' building with a touch screen computer and printer made locating Margaret's grave simple and provided us with a print out map.  We quickly found the stone, and although it was quite weathered, we could make out the inscription:  "MARGARET R./ wife of/ Wm WERNER/ DIED/ Feb 22, 1893/ AGED/ 80 yrs  5 mos  11da/ Resting till the resurrection morning"

Read inscription in above text

By the time of Isaac's death in 1895 he was no longer writing in his journal, so I do not know his reaction to the death of his mother.  As described in the blog, "Finding Isaac's Grave," 1-13-2012 in the Blog Archives, he is buried in Neeland's Cemetery in Stafford County, KS.  By 1900 the Palmer family had left Abilene and were living in Lawrence, where Margaret's daughter was buried in 1931.  Margaret's husband and the infant Elmira were buried in Wernersville, as was Isaac's twin brother Henry, who died in 1913.  Her oldest daughter, Emma, predeceased her mother and was buried in Reading following her death on Dec.  21, 1890. 

Ironically, although Margaret was buried far from her husband, she was buried in the same state as two of her children, Isaac and Henrietta, and William was buried in PA where their other three children are buried.

Margaret's grave looking east

As America was settled and generations moved westward across the continent, it was not uncommon for family graves to be separated by great distances.  Nor was it uncommon for a single family member to be buried with no other family graves nearby, as the family moved away from that location.  (See "Cemetery on the Hill," 2-7-2013 in the Blog Archives.)

Having spent so much time in Isaac's company, reading his journal and his published writings, I almost felt like a friend, visiting his mother's grave on his behalf.