Two Things Happened

Recently I had two things happen only a few days apart.  One regular reader of my blog wrote in my comment section that I had "pussy footed around" by limiting my blog to information, without telling people how to respond to the information my research contained.  

Only a few weeks later, someone was so annoyed by the research I posted in a particular blog that he blocked it.  Fortunately, the manager of that posting reentered it.  

Those two things, happening so close together, seemed to me to represent the problem the nation faces.  In divided times, some want to tell people what to think and others refuse to allow information to be shared.  

I may be naive, but I believe neither of those things are effective.  The founding fathers established a system of checks and balances that put into the hands of ordinary people power to elect those who would serve in state and national positions.  We may be at the bottom of the political ladder, but we have the power to determine who gets to take the next step.   

Perhaps we have forgotten how important that is, and we have too often voted for someone because we agreed with a certain position he or she had taken, willing to ignore character and other issues.  Worse yet, maybe we do not take the time to assess everyone on the ballot.  

I have mentioned before George Washington's concern about political parties.  He feared that they had the potential to influence and control the power of the people, if people succumbed to the influence of political parties.

If we the people put unworthy candidates on the first rung--which we alone control with our vote--we the people will have missed our chance to stop or assist who we consider best for the nation.  We the people have more responsibility than we sometimes think.  Our votes do count, and we must be the watch dogs of our constitution not only at elections, but throughout what is happening between elections. 

So, back to what happened.  One man who follows my bog thought I had "Pussy Footed" when I didn't go further and tell readers how to think.  The other man must have thought I had no business sharing my research at all.  Facts are facts, and I do share those.  I think both were wrong.  I do share information, but I try to avoid telling readers how that information should be applied.  

 I write on my weekly blog about all kinds of things.  I do try carefully to do my research.  But I do not think telling readers what to think is my job. My job is sharing interesting stuff for readers to enjoy, and in some cases, something to think about.  I do not intentionally try to take one more step furth and tell you how to think.  I do hope my research does often give you food for thought. 

Thank you to all of you who have enjoyed my weekly blogs for over a decade.  I will continue to try to inform, amuse, explore, and do my best to make it worth your time!  And, I will watch for my regular reader's comments on the reader's opinions.        

Valentines and Marriages

 Recently, at a performance in our town, the performers asked couples in the audience to raise their hands and keep them raised as long as the number of years they had been married were called out.  It was meant as an introduction to a love song.  To our surprise, my husband and I were the last to have our hands in the air, the longest married couple in that group!  In defense of revealing our age, it was a very cold evening, and older couples may have remained at home!!  This week's theme is Valentine's Day and marriage traditions over the years. 

Married couples make up 47% of American households.  That is a decline from 66% fifty years ago.  Part of that decline is because couples are marrying later, one source reporting 30.8% for men, and 28.2% for women.  Although couples are marrying later, statistics report that overall, 41% of first marriages end in divorce.  Of course, many happy marriages continue.

Not only statistics change, but also the traditional marriage celebrations change.  For a time, couples were choosing what was called "micro weddings," but that trend is back to larger weddings shared with family and friends, but skipping sit-down formal receptions and dinners, instead enjoying cocktail or party themes, or even backyard weddings.  

Honeymoons have definitely changed, the elaborate trips of today not at all common earlier, at least not in our imaginations when my husband and I married, working our way through college.  Newlywed budgets still impact honeymoons, but if money is no issue, extended trips are common.  Surprising to me, "Buddymoons" are a trend, in which the newlyweds travel with close friends or family. 

Married or single, sweethearts will be thinking of Valentine's gifts.  Traditions in that regard have changed little over the years.  Cards, flowers, and chocolates are still popular.  Going out to dinner is popular, but because of the typical crowds, many skip dining out. 

Searching for a lovely Valentine Story to share, I discovered a very unexpected Valentine Story.  A French Legend from long ago claims that women who were rejected by their Valentines would create a likeness of their unkind sweethearts and burn the effigy in public!  Because of the riots that caused, the government prohibited Valentine's Day in the early 19th Century.  

Today, French Sweetheart's celebrate Valentine's Day much as we do, with flowers, dinners, and chocolates.  

May your Valentine's Day be sweet!     

One Chance to Make an Impression.

My great grandmother and her daughter, her son's daughter, and me--four generations in my family were teachers.  

     The old saying is "You only have one first chance to make a first impression.  This week's blog discusses that old saying in a modern world.  I will begin with teachers to honor my ancestors and generations that have followed.  

    Education:  Studies show that teachers dressed in formal business attire are perceived by students as more knowledgeable and organized.  Further, Adult attire sets a tone for the classroom.  Yet the attire I was expected to wear as a teacher, as well as male teachers wearing suit and tie is not required in all schools.

    Medical Professionals:  It has been found that medical attire directly influences patient trust.  My experience is that is true, although jeans may peek out under the jacket.  

    The U.S. Army:  Recently the U.S. Army has updated its appearance, believing that professional standards of appearance have a direct impact on soldiers.

    Political Candidates:  Traditional attire of suit and tie for men and professional dresses and suits for women are still apparent, but more frequently men are going without the tie.

    Business Attire:  Business attire has softened from formal suits for some men to "Smart Casual" in some offices.  As for women, they are unlikely to wear suits and jackets (as I did when I was practicing law), but they continue to have a tailored wardrobe.

    Police and Law Enforcement:  The traditional attire for Police and Law Enforcement does change, but the importance of attire is maintained. The attire for Police and Law Enforcement plays a role in recognition and public trust.  A professional uniform is a non-verbal statement that insures the public of a sense of trust and safety.  A recognizable uniform also keeps officers accountable for their actions.

    This blog covers a large range about identification, from respect for teachers to medical professionals and others.  But what this blog has been about was the importance of how what we wear matters.  This brings me to a current problem in the news--the dispute regarding the attire of members of ICE.  Unlike other Police and Law Enforcement, ICE has sometimes chosen to hide their faces and avoid uniforms.  Although they are required to carry their badges with them, they are not required to display them.  Several states have begun legal action to require visible identification, excluding secret missions. 

    People have been terrified by unidentified ICE agents pulling them from cars and making other assaults without identifying themselves.  The ICE agents argue that it is necessary to protect themselves and their families by hiding their identities.  However, it is also true that police daily confront dangerous situations without masks. 

    Acting ICE Director Todd Lyons has said "I've said in public before, I'm not a proponent of masks.  However, if that's a tool that the men and women of ICE do to keep themselves and their family safe, then I will allow it."

    Wearing cameras is important, although too late for the victims.  Nor does it serve it's importance if local police are refused the film.   

    Perhaps this is time to return to the heading of this blog.  You only have one chance to make a first impression.   In a modern world,  where things can happen so fast, perhaps two things do remain intractable, but with a new importance to pause long enough to assess with certainty what you are about to do.