Intentional Hurtfulness

 Recently I read an article on Hazing that had resulted in a young man's death.  The irony was that he was a student that other young men respected enough to select him to become one of their own, a member of their fraternity.  Yet, they killed him with excessive hazing.  The article acknowledged that hazing is not confined to college campuses.  It occurs in high schools and other student groups, the military, and even in professional workplaces.  Neither is it a recent practice, the article I read dating it back to 1838.

We are well aware of abuse of people unlike ourselves, different because of ethnicity, religion, social status, and even artificial differences, such as sports competitors.  We invent reasons to shun or haze.  However, it seems particularly unexplainable when such cruelty is released against one of our own, someone we like.  That is certainly not to say that if someone is different the mistreatment is justified.  Not at all, although differences may be found to make it seem more explainable.  

Examples of Hazing are at different levels of severity, from assigning demerits, imposing silence, or using demeaning names; or at a more mid-level, such as embarrassment, humiliation, and sleep deprivation; or at an even higher level, as in the case of the young man in the newspaper article, forced alcohol or drug use, branding, or endangering.  I suspect that many of you reading this have experienced some level of hazing, although you may not have called it that.  I know I have. 

Making friends with someone different...Do I have to?

Unfortunately, it seems to be part of human nature.  An article online titled "Little Bullies?  When Kids Leave Kids Out" states that peer exclusion, when one child excludes another child from being a part of the group, is very common among preschoolers.   That seems disheartening, but I have observed it, as I am sure you may have also.

 While it may be common, and a certain amount may be unavoidable, surely it deserves attention, by parents, teachers, and organizations.  In 2021, federal Legislation titled "Report and Educate About Hazing Act" was introduced into Congress.  It stalled, but new proposed federal legislation, called the Stop Campus Hazing Act is being prepared that recognizes the need to take hazing seriously. 

 We humans can be incredibly generous and kind, but we can also behave badly.  Perhaps we cannot regulate kindness, but perhaps we can find a way at least to recognize unintentional hurtfulness, whether it is hazing or simply overlooking thoughtless behavior.  We need to start somewhere.