Romance or Love

Royal & Lillian's Wedding Picture

 It has been my practice to share a Valentine blog post, and this year is no exception.  In fact, I thought some of you might be in the mood for a romantic book to read. There are countless books with romance as their subject, and this blog will share some examples, starting with Romantic stories from history.  It seems that historic romances often ended tragically! 

For example, the Greek story of Paris and Helen is said to have provoked the downfall of Troy, and when the Greek lover Orpheus rescues Eurydice from Hades he ignored the instruction not to look back and failed.  Bank robbers Bonnie and Clyde didn't turn out so well either, not did King Arthur when Lancelot and Guinevere split the Round Table.  The romance of Cleopatra and Mark Anthony ended tragically with his suicide caused by false information, and her own unwillingness to live without him, and what about Romeo and Juliet?!  Since these historical love stories did not end happily ever after, perhaps we should shift to literature.

I consulted several websites online, including "The greatest love stories, Romance Novels, Good Reads" and "Oprah Daily." All 4 websites recommended Pride and Prejudice and, Jane Eyre.  Romance Novels and Good Reads both recommended The Notebook, Outlander, and Persuasion, which was also recommended by Reddit.  

Among some of the other books recommended were Doctor Zhivago, The Princess Bride, Gone with the Wind, Wuthering Heights, West Side Story and Anna Karenina.  Over the years, I have read all of the books just mentioned and enjoyed them; however, my recollection is that heartbreak, deception, and betrayal often appear in romance novels, and you may want to keep a handkerchief nearby to dry your tears.

You may have noticed that many of the recommended romance novels were written decades ago, some even centuries ago.  Has the meaning of romance changed over the centuries?  When we speak of Love, what exactly do we mean?  

 Thanks to Yessmagazine.com I can share with you some wisdom from the ancient Greeks, who had six levels of words to describe love.  First there was Eros, which we would call sexual passion.  Next there was Philia, or deep friendship, then, Ludus, or playful love, such as flirting and teasing.  The 4th word in the Greek's description of love was Agape, or love for everyone, meaning universal loving kindness, or we might say empathy, which I have written about in other blogs in reference to how reading improves empathy.  

The 5th level was Pragma, which meant longstanding love.  We don't have a word for that, but we do celebrate Marriage milestones.  The traditional anniversary gift for the first year of marriage was Paper, advancing to Cotton the second year, and reaching Tin or Aluminum by the 10th year.  I'm not sure how those traditional gifts were chosen, but times must have been rough for newlyweds back then!  There are revised modern gifts today, mostly advertised by jewelry stores!  I'm not sure many brides today would be impressed with most of the humble traditional choices.  However, the exchange of a lovely note on beautiful paper or a pretty card on their 1st Anniversary has continued to be a romantic tradition, with the annual exchange of Valentine cards, as well as flowers and chocolate. 

Finally, the 6th level of Ancient Greek words for love is Philautic, or love of self.  I had to do a bit more research to determine whether the word's meaning was Narcissism vs. a healthy respect for one's self, and fortunately, it is generally regarded to mean self-understanding, and is considered desirable rather than narcissistic or excessively vain.     

While we may not have 6 words for love, may Valentine's Day bring you the level of Ancient Greek love you are hoping for.  And if you choose to settle down with a good book, maybe one of those I recommended will be just the one you want!