Romance or Love

Royal & Lillian's Wedding Picture

 It has been my practice to share a Valentine blog post, and this year is no exception.  In fact, I thought some of you might be in the mood for a romantic book to read. There are countless books with romance as their subject, and this blog will share some examples, starting with Romantic stories from history.  It seems that historic romances often ended tragically! 

For example, the Greek story of Paris and Helen is said to have provoked the downfall of Troy, and when the Greek lover Orpheus rescues Eurydice from Hades he ignored the instruction not to look back and failed.  Bank robbers Bonnie and Clyde didn't turn out so well either, not did King Arthur when Lancelot and Guinevere split the Round Table.  The romance of Cleopatra and Mark Anthony ended tragically with his suicide caused by false information, and her own unwillingness to live without him, and what about Romeo and Juliet?!  Since these historical love stories did not end happily ever after, perhaps we should shift to literature.

I consulted several websites online, including "The greatest love stories, Romance Novels, Good Reads" and "Oprah Daily." All 4 websites recommended Pride and Prejudice and, Jane Eyre.  Romance Novels and Good Reads both recommended The Notebook, Outlander, and Persuasion, which was also recommended by Reddit.  

Among some of the other books recommended were Doctor Zhivago, The Princess Bride, Gone with the Wind, Wuthering Heights, West Side Story and Anna Karenina.  Over the years, I have read all of the books just mentioned and enjoyed them; however, my recollection is that heartbreak, deception, and betrayal often appear in romance novels, and you may want to keep a handkerchief nearby to dry your tears.

You may have noticed that many of the recommended romance novels were written decades ago, some even centuries ago.  Has the meaning of romance changed over the centuries?  When we speak of Love, what exactly do we mean?  

 Thanks to Yessmagazine.com I can share with you some wisdom from the ancient Greeks, who had six levels of words to describe love.  First there was Eros, which we would call sexual passion.  Next there was Philia, or deep friendship, then, Ludus, or playful love, such as flirting and teasing.  The 4th word in the Greek's description of love was Agape, or love for everyone, meaning universal loving kindness, or we might say empathy, which I have written about in other blogs in reference to how reading improves empathy.  

The 5th level was Pragma, which meant longstanding love.  We don't have a word for that, but we do celebrate Marriage milestones.  The traditional anniversary gift for the first year of marriage was Paper, advancing to Cotton the second year, and reaching Tin or Aluminum by the 10th year.  I'm not sure how those traditional gifts were chosen, but times must have been rough for newlyweds back then!  There are revised modern gifts today, mostly advertised by jewelry stores!  I'm not sure many brides today would be impressed with most of the humble traditional choices.  However, the exchange of a lovely note on beautiful paper or a pretty card on their 1st Anniversary has continued to be a romantic tradition, with the annual exchange of Valentine cards, as well as flowers and chocolate. 

Finally, the 6th level of Ancient Greek words for love is Philautic, or love of self.  I had to do a bit more research to determine whether the word's meaning was Narcissism vs. a healthy respect for one's self, and fortunately, it is generally regarded to mean self-understanding, and is considered desirable rather than narcissistic or excessively vain.     

While we may not have 6 words for love, may Valentine's Day bring you the level of Ancient Greek love you are hoping for.  And if you choose to settle down with a good book, maybe one of those I recommended will be just the one you want!   

Send a Message

One of the things that is such fun about this photograph is that the picture was taken to be put on a postcard--a postcard showing three young women reading a postcard!

Of course Isaac Werner received mail in the late 1800s.  The post offices were in some neighbor's home.  The earliest reference to a postal address in Isaac's journal is to the Vosburgh Post Office, but the post offices during most years of his journal were in the homes of "Doc" Dix and Aaron Beck.  Nearby Antrum delivery was in the home of the Gibbs sisters.

But how was a message sent if immediacy was important, as in the case of serious illness or death?  That information is not contained in Isaac's journal, although I know that he was quickly made aware of the deaths of his sister and of his mother.

I have done some research on the telegraph of that era.  One of the issues the populists included in their Peoples' Party Platform was government ownership of telephone and telegraph, just as the government has the U.S. Mail.

According to the website from which the image at right was taken, it is likely that the messages Isaac would have received about family deaths would have been sent by Morse code, transcribed, and hand delivered in some way.  By 1900, 63.2 million messages were sent each year.  The distance from town of his homestead does raise the question of hand delivery.

Western Union was the first nationwide industrial monopoly, and in almost every session of Congress, bills urged either regulation or government takeover.  However, the greatest threat to Western Union was technology in the form of the telephone.

It is always technology that is nipping at the heels of the existing status quo.  Remember when you actually had long conversations with your friends over the phone?  And, do you remember letters!--not just a signed greeting card but actual newsy letters?!  And for sweethearts, love letters!

Then came e-mail, whose primitive beginnings happened in 1965 at MIT.  Within 2 or three decades most of us were enjoying chatty e-mails from our friends.  Today, if you are like me, most of my past e-mail friends are posting travel photographs and kids' pictures on face book!

Portrait of the End of a Romance

And, now there is Twitter, which did not exist until March of 2006.  By the 10 year anniversary of its creation there were 319 million monthly active users.  Evan Williams, one of its founders, said "Twitter actually changed from what we thought it was in the beginning, which we described as status updates and a social utility.  It is that in part, but the insight we eventually came to was Twitter was really more of an information network than it is a social network."  I would add that it is also a 'misinformation network.'  

Like all the communication methods just described, something new will surely come along to replace Twitter.  One of my earlier blogs pointed out that young people prefer texts over phone calls because it spares them from being trapped in a conversation.  I do understand that.  When you are busy or immersed in a project or even in the middle of a great book, being interrupted by the phone can be an annoyance.  However, it seems less likely that Twitter, or even texts, can develop relationships in the same way that conversation can.

Although it is difficult to predict what new technology may replace Twitter, history would predict that something will.