Love is in the Air

Love is in the Air, and Cupid is firing his arrows everywhere!  Happy Valentines!  With Valentine's Day's arrival, it seems appropriate to share its history.

The most common explanation connects the modern celebration of Valentine's Day with the Christian Feast of Saint Valentine, but specific details vary.  Perhaps it is related to the Roman prohibition of soldiers marrying Christian women and the martyrdom of a priest who ignored that prohibition.  

Other explanations refer to the idea that birds mate in early spring, which is considered romantic.  Geoffrey Chaucer wrote in 1382, For this was on seynt Volantynys day When euery bryd comyt there to chese his make, or as translated, "For this was on St. Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."

However it may have begun, February 14th is certainly a romantic tradition today.  The history of the exchange of Valentine cards is better known.  As early as the 1700s, special notes and letters were exchanged, but the exchange of printed cards began in the mid-1800s, perhaps first in England but soon adopted in America, particularly after the Civil War.

Some of the cards were quite elaborate, with hidden gifts such as jewelry inside.  Other valentines were given the name of "Puzzle Purses," which consisted of a series of love letters which collectively could be arranged to make a beautiful design or convey a message.  

Of course, the gift of chocolates remains a popular valentine gift, and I remember the elaborate chocolate boxes that were so beautiful and well built that they became treasured keepsake boxes once the chocolates were gone. 

Another gift from clever young men who want to be sure they always remember their engagement date is giving yjeir beloveds an engagement ring on Valentine's Day, the typical stone given today being a diamond.  The first documented example of a diamond engagement ring dates back to 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave his betrothed, Mary of Burgundy, a diamond ring.  Upper class couples copied the tradition, and in 1866 when diamonds were first found in South Africa, that discovery eventually lead to diamonds that were more affordable for less affluent young men to give their sweethearts. 

In the United States, after W.W. I and especially during the Great Depression, diamonds declined in popularity.  Gradually the popularity of diamond engagement rings has returned, as most of us know, and in most cases what follows is marriage.  The image at the top of this blog page is of a wedding dress advertised in 1892.  I thought it would be fun to go online to find examples of what a bride might chose for her wedding in 2020.  Traditional gowns remain popular, but I thought you might enjoy seeing some less traditional choices!  Happy Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day Joke

Not your typical "love birds" you say?  Why not?  The bride is dressed in white, and the groom is wearing tails--well, tail feathers--in the ever popular gray.

Once again Valentine's Day has arrived, and for those of you who follow this blog regularly, you know that I write a blog yearly to recognize this special day for lovers.  If you have missed reading them, you can go to the inventory at right,  click on the year, and then scroll down to February to read those past blogs.

In doing my research for the manuscript, I found an article in the local populist newspaper of Isaac's time, the County Capital, in which the local reporter in his community praised Isaac's farm for its neat, prosperous appearance.  The reporter could not resist teasing Isaac a bit by concluding the article with this comment:  With such a nice farm, "we think the rooster of the prairie should take a young lady under his wing."

Isaac Werner's journal mentions his admiration for several young ladies, and a cryptic note refers to "a second refusal," which I assume was an unsuccessful marriage proposal to a lady with whom he was corresponding back in Illinois, after he had lived in Kansas for several years.  His journal also mentions a young lady who came to St. John as a Prohibition lecturer, on whom he made a social call one afternoon, but soon after, she left St. John and the romance never had the chance to begin.  Although I believe Isaac would have enjoyed a wife by his side during his years on the Kansas prairie, being a farmer's wife was a hard life in the late 1800s, and the well-educated city women he admired may not have been willing to assume the responsibilities expected of a farmer's wife.

So, on this Valentine's Day I have chosen the handsome couple pictured above to remember Isaac Beckley Werner, the Rooster of the Prairie, whose journal inspired my efforts to tell the story of those early settlers who came to Kansas in the late 1800s.

Romance on the Prairie

From the County Capital

Touring a personal library is a lot like going through someone's family photo album.  Quote from "The Man Who Loved Books Too Much" by Allison Hoover Bartlett

 

Isaac B. Werner captured my heart when I discovered his passion for books.  Having spent nearly three years studying the lists of books in his journal and in the inventory from his probate records, and having acquired many of those books to read, I feel that I have toured Isaac's personal library and know a great deal about him. 

 

At Isaac's estate sale there were so many books to sell that not all of them could be auctioned individually, and some were boxed to be sold together.  Among the books sold was one titled "Marriage & Family," and knowing that, I am sure that Isaac never intended to spend his entire life as a bachelor.  Why else, when money was dear and he took such pains to select the books he could afford to buy, would his library have included a book about marriage?! 

 

With Valentine's Day at hand, I find myself thinking of the ladies in Isaac's life after he came to Kansas, trying to imagine someone to whom he might have wished to send a Valentine.  He did leave some clues, and one of the most intriguing involves a lady named Ellen.  His journal mentions receiving letters from Ellen or Elle Green, and he was obviously pleased to receive them and prompt to reply.  One day, however, there was a cryptic entry in his journal, "second refusal," and after that day there were no more mentions of Ellen.

 

Another possible candidate was neighbor Isabel Ross, to whom he referred in his journal as Mrs. Ross, using her given name only once.  Mrs. Ross had divorced her husband on the grounds that he was abusive to her and their four children, and following the divorce, she staked a homestead claim as a single woman on land adjacent to Isaac's timber claim.  Gradually, a friendship developed between them, and Isaac was especially kind to share corn husks for fuel and make sure her soddy was readied for cold weather.  If they came to care for each other romantically, Isaac never mentioned such feelings in his journal.

 

The most obvious infatuation he revealed was toward a young woman who came to St. John to deliver temperance lectures.  The first evening he heard her speak, he wrote in his journal:  "...heard Miss Hazelett deliver a first class prohibition speech with magic lantern views, a splendid political speech from a quite young lady probably 23 years of age a nice & good sensible talker."  A few days later he heard her speak again, this time a political speech when she ran as the Republican candidate for County Superintendent of Schools.  It may have been the only time he had something positive to say in his journal about a Republican candidate!  The following month he visited Dr. & Mrs. McCann, the couple with whom Miss Hazelett resided.  Isaac wrote:  "...paid a visit or made a call on Miss Blanche B. Hazelett at Dr. McCann's residence.  Some pleasant surroundings and agreeable company to talk to."  Unfortunately, Miss Hazelett lost the election and resumed traveling on the temperance lecture circuit, and a few weeks later the McCanns left St. John for a different city.

 

From the County Capital

Isaac was regarded as a "good catch" for the ladies.  After a visit to Isaac's farm, newspaper editor John Hilmes praised Isaac's farm as one of the finest in the area.  In that same issue of the paper, the local reporter described the abundant trees Isaac had cultivated and added:  "We think the rooster of the sand hills ought to take some fair damsel under his wings." 

 

The most outright teasing Isaac received followed his lecture at a Farmers' Alliance meeting about ideas from Edward Bellamy's book, "Looking Backward."  That book, still read today, was very popular with Populists who admired some of the social changes Bellamy described in his future world.  Perhaps Isaac mentioned one change--that it was socially proper in that future time for a woman to propose marriage to a man.  In the County Capital newspaper the week after Isaac's lecture, the local reporter teased that the eligible women of Isaac's community had discussed taking him up on that idea, and if he wasn't willing to agree to the propriety of a woman extending the marriage proposal to a man, they didn't want to hear any more talk from Isaac about Edward Bellamy and his future society!

 

Isaac lived and died a bachelor, never having need to use the information contained in his own copy of "Marriage & Family."  Yet, I believe he had not meant to live his life alone.  To read about Isaac's flirtations and marriage plans as a younger man, visit my Feb. 9, 2012 blog, "A Young Man's Fancy." 

A Young Man's Fancy...

Ferreting out something about Isaac B. Werner's private thoughts on love & romance isn't easy. There are, however, clues to his feelings, and with the approach of Valentine's Day it seems like the right time to peek into Isaac's heart.

Isaac's father William did not marry until he was forty years old, and that may have influenced Isaac's view that marriage should not be rushed. As a young druggist in Rossville, he was very ambitious. He wrote: "As each man is the architect of his own fortune, there is a great deal also in what materials we make use of, and what plans we follow out." When his twin brother Henry sent a letter sharing news that several of Isaac's mischief-maker friends had married, Isaac wrote in his Journal: "...the Home boys still continue pretty fast tampering with the cup of Sorrow--till ending in wedlock. Then simmer down--like a final anchor and enjoy the ups and downs of married life and the animated fruits of their toiling; while I a thousand miles away, like a Hermit delighting mostly in my ever so dear and trustful best companions, Books, and intend continuing so at least for coming 5 or 10 years--no telling though how circumstances unexpected might interfere..."

The young ladies of Rossville certainly were among the distracting circumstances that threatened Isaac's literary plans, particularly when fellow merchants hired a new employee. "To-day Miss Wilky commencing as Book-Keeper for Henderson Lee & Co., a little novelty for Rossvillions--Female clerks--not agreeing very best with some of those vulgar minds, resorting to such places to give vent to their vulgar thoughts and general conversations..." Despite Isaac's prediction that customers who gathered to cuss and discuss in that store might resent the presence of a young lady, forcing some moderation in their language, there were at least some customers who found Miss Wilky a new reason to frequent the store. He wrote: "...J.R. Lee called in and we indulged in a leisure conversation concerning their late feminine clerk, he telling me how of late some of the young country Romeos tried to coax his Bookkeeper into their society attending country dances, but he kindly advising the said clerk concerning her best course of associating to retain creditably said clerkship, which she is filling at present." Isaac was not among those young Romeos inviting her to country dances, but he was one of her admirers, writing: "For first time fairly seen--as she called in for trifle--the late arrived feminine Book-keeper of Henderson Lee, appearing in quite fashionable 'Harness' partly approaching the Grecian Trend, eyes pure and bright as crystals, not quite so bad."

Isaac was not one to indulge in insincere flirtations. "Valentine's Day, Birds pairing out. Few calls for Valentine's by city youths but city merchants neglected to supply themselves, consequently not much libeling." Isaac might have been awkward at expressing his feelings, but if he sent a message of love, he believed it should speak the truth.

The young lady who could win Isaac's heart needed to appreciate books, although he was willing to lead her in that direction if she had not acquired the habit of reading by herself. Proof of this is found in a conversation he recorded in his Journal: "In morning dark-eyed 'Belle A' called in and returned loaned book 'Cave on Coloring.' I inquired, 'Why, have you read it through already?'" "Yes." "Well, could you understand it?" "No, not at all." "How do you like it?" "Oh, I don't like such reading." At this point, unwilling to give up on the young lady, Isaac said, "Ah, you must not expect to learn all at once. Here, I have another small book..." The young lady took the book, but that was the last mention of her in the Journal--probably a romance it was better for both of them to have avoided.

No one could assume that Isaac was immune to the charms of a pretty young woman after reading this passage in his Journal: "The figure of a tall woman, black furs and veiled Highness...I glancing and thinking to myself, 'What looking incarnation of the East may you be?' She halted before showcase, throwed back her veil, behold! If it wasn't 'Juliet' in all her beauty and plumpness. She bought her wanted goods, and soon exit[ed] again, the first time she been in store for couple of months, she looking fair and bright enough to tempt one to lean over counter [and] osculate those pretty pouting scarlet lips, and fresh cheeks." Whoever the young lady was to inspire this uncharacteristically flowery passage must have been exactly the sort of "circumstances unexpected" Isaac was thinking of when he confessed that his plan to defer marriage for 5 or 10 years might meet with interference!

So, scattered among the serious passages about his determination to acquire a fine library and study the wisdom of learned men of past and present generations and the responsible descriptions of his commitment to maintaining a reputable business is the voice of a man in his mid-twenties, charmed by pretty women and occasionally making a fool of himself as a result. As Jules Renard, a Frenchman born only a few years after Isaac, wrote, "Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."

By the time Isaac left Rossville to homestead in Kansas he was thirty-three, and still a bachelor. In a later post I will share some more clues about Isaac's encounters with cupid on the plains of Kansas. I hope Valentine's Day is happy for everyone, and I'll add this quote by Scottish Evangelist, Henry Drummond (1851-1897): "You will find when you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."

Osculate means kiss.